epiphanies
it doesn’t matter if i wear orange socks
was the thought that i just had.
and last night i dreamt about having a bath,
so things can’t be that bad.
* * *
so, i, uh…
can’t think
i miss -
forget the end of sentences four words in
why i was going there when i arrive
collecting bruises along the way
maybe it’s the drugs
or my body avoiding thinking
entirely.
* * *
the neighbours upstairs are
wrestling
or doing…something
…again
and there is too much stomping
and monday night football
for them to be lesbians.
so i’m tracking their progress
across my ceiling
with intermittent winces.
* * *
it’s okay
i know why you went there
i could tell by your voice
that you wanted to believe yourself
badly
and there was no use arguing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
questioning/examining:
how many times do i currently exceed the average “bruised skin to unbruised skin” ratio?
grateful/relieved:
for my grandparents, witty, wonderful, sound of mind and body, celebrating their 59th anniversary tomorrow.
regret/deny:
walking to meet friends for dinner, with directions so explicit they were x-rated and still ending up at the wrong end of hamilton street.
musing/reflecting:
it’s hard to be crabby after a conversation about lime green day-of-the-week underwear.
whistling/humming:
bessie smith – norah jones
absorbed in:
pope john paul ii – 25 years of laughs
shout out to:
kenneth, who said to me today before leaving: “don’t eat too much candy. it’s not good for you.” and then pointing his finger, making me laugh even harder, “i’m serious.”