crazywonderful

THE BLOGGER GENERAL WARNS THAT THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL CONTAINS GRAPHIC SCENES OF ILLNESS, SO IF THAT KIND OF THING BOTHERS YOU, PLEASE RE-READ ONE OF MY LESS OFFENSIVE ARCHIVED BLOGS. OR JUST FUCK OFF. THANK YOU.
i am not a person who enjoys being sick. there are some people who don’t mind being sick, i know a woman, a very brave woman, who when she is hung over makes a point of being sick, because then she says she feels so much better, but i always have and always will be the kind of person who has serious issues with vomiting. i hate it. i was saying to a friend today, when there was FINALLY someone around i could whine to, that if i was seriously ill, if the illness was long-term and the illness involved vomit, i would kill myself on about the second day.
i phoned the clinic today, and explained that i had been in yesterday to get my travel vaccinations and what the current situation was. “oh dear,” the woman said. “i’ll call the doctor.” the doctor said to sip water until i was sure it was staying down, take gravol, take tylenol, and if i was still sick on monday to come back in. i nodded and hung up, sure that if i was still sick on monday, i’d be dead. every half hour, another mad dash to the bathroom, whether i needed it or not. and trust me, i didn’t need it.
i was supposed to pick up my passport this morning, but didn’t. i was supposed to meet a friend from out of town for lunch, but was too fucked up to even call him back and let him know. i’m supposed to be helping ken and nethers move right now, but I’m not. instead I’m sipping very, very carefully from one of two gatorade bottles. i’ve been obsessing about non-threatening beverages all day, because there has been no keeping the water down, but much bringing the water up, and i am so thirsty and it looks so good, sitting there all clear and wet.
mommy.
while there are many things about being single and sick that i do not approve of (starting with ‘no one to whine to’), there were many moments today where i was very, very relieved to be by myself.
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[18 sleeps]
questioning/examining:
is it time to feel better YET?
grateful/relieved:
for the lessons my mother taught me about bringing the bucket with you.
regret/deny:
not feeling well as i was sitting outside this morning at 6:00, and foolishly thinking i could halt the reverse peristalsis until i got inside and into the bathroom. so wrong.
musing/reflecting:
willpower goes far, but never as far as you want it to.
whistling/humming:
you make me sick – pink
absorbed in:
Dorothy Allison: “I came to feminism as a hurt, desperate, denied child, and I would’ve killed for the feminist mama who would take me in her arms and make it all make sense. And I’ve been running after her ass ever since.”
shout out to:
my baby brother, who brought me Gatorade, sweet Gatorade, in exactly the colours i had been dreaming about all day long without me even telling him the colours. how does he do it? no one knows.